Being Congruent: A Guide to Authentic Living

A wise person said to me at a 121  earlier in the year that they found me to be a truly congruent person. I must admit i didn't initially know what was meant by this.

What followed was a trip down the Internet rabbit hole and conversations with mentors, mentees ,friends and family to see what it meant to be truly congruent with ones self.

Napkin AI made this from the article btw

Congruence is about alignment—living in harmony with your values, beliefs, and actions.

It’s not just a concept; it’s a way of being that fosters trust, authenticity, and connection. Whether you’re leading a team, nurturing friendships, or navigating your personal growth, congruence I have come to believe is the foundation for meaningful relationships and effective leadership.

What Does It Mean to Be Congruent?

I watched a young colleague recently really come out their shell as they worked and led on a successful high profile event. We talk about flow a lot as a concept but this was her purpose and values aligning with actions that contributed to great success. Being congruent means staying true to yourself.

It involves aligning your internal values and beliefs with your external behaviours and decisions. This consistency creates trust and allows others to see you as reliable and authentic.

When you are congruent:

• Your words match your actions.

• You express yourself honestly and authentically.

• You build relationships rooted in mutual respect and trust.

My Tribe is my Vibe

Congruence as a Leader

Leadership congruence is about aligning your values with your leadership actions. It’s not just about what you say but how you lead through example. Congruent leaders inspire trust by consistently acting in line with their principles.

Key traits of congruent leadership include:

• Integrity: Living by your values even when it’s challenging.

• Consistency: Following through on commitments to build reliability.

• Transparency: Communicating openly and honestly with your team ,your organisation .

• Authenticity: Showing vulnerability and being yourself in leadership roles.

For instance, I believe a leader who values collaboration will actively seek input from their team rather than making unilateral decisions. As this alignment builds trust and fosters a culture of openness.

Cog in the wheel

Congruence in Friendships

As a friend, being congruent means showing up authentically in every interaction. Relationships thrive when there’s trust, honesty, and mutual respect—all of which stem from congruence.

To be a congruent friend:

• Express your thoughts and feelings honestly without fear of judgment.

• Honour commitments and boundaries to build trust.

• Stay consistent in your values across different situations or crises.

Cultivating Congruence in Your Life

Living congruently requires self-awareness and intentionality. Here are some practical steps to help you align your thoughts, feelings, and actions:

1. Self-Reflection

Take time to understand what matters most to you—your values, beliefs, and goals. Journaling or seeking feedback from trusted friends can help clarify areas where you may feel misaligned.

2. Self-Acceptance

Embrace both strengths and weaknesses without judgment. Accepting yourself fully allows you to live authentically without trying to please others or conform unnecessarily.

3. Mindfulness Practices

Stay present with your thoughts and feelings through mindfulness techniques like meditation or breathing exercises. This awareness helps you act in alignment with your true self.

4. Consistency in Actions

Ensure that your decisions reflect your core values—whether at work or in personal relationships. Small acts of integrity build lasting trust over time.

5. Seek Support When Needed

Sometimes we need guidance to identify incongruences or navigate challenges. Therapy or mentorship can provide valuable insights into aligning our inner selves with external behaviours.

Jamiejohn Anderson 3rd esq his most congruent self 😊🧔🏻‍♂️

Why Congruence Matters

Congruence isn’t just about feeling good—it’s transformative for every aspect of life:

• As a leader, it builds credibility and inspires others to follow your vision.

• As a friend, it deepens relationships through trust and authenticity.

• As an individual, it fosters inner peace by reducing internal conflicts between who you are and how you act.

Finally,

Ask yourself: Are my actions aligned with my values? Am I authentic in my relationships? Do I lead with integrity?

Cultivating congruence is a journey that requires reflection, honesty, and commitment—but the rewards are profound for both yourself and those around you. 🌟

Never standing still

Here's to a Bright Future, Rooted in Our Rich Past 🧔🏻

• #personalgrowth #selfimprovement #growthmindset #mindfulness #selflove

  #leadership #authenticleadership #valuesdriven #leaderswhocare #inspireothers

  #friendshipgoals #friendsforever #authenticconnections #bestfriendsbelike #trustandhonesty

#authenticity #liveauthentic #truthmatters #selfawareness #connection